...but in a good way.
I think.
I feel like I'm standing at the beginning of something with the potential to be amazing. In fact, I've already seen glimpses that were marvelous.
My cynical side says enjoy it while it lasts. The devil on my shoulder says "you know you always screw these things up."
About a month ago, I was at a gathering where someone was doing tarot card readings. I took my turn. I had never had a reading before and I'm not entirely certain how I feel about the validity. I also saw no harm in the experience. I was told there was something unexpected coming my way and that it would be a very positive experience for me. I wish if this were it, I had some way of knowing. I struggle with the unknown. I can't control the unknown.
So, I find myself standing here, at this starting line, with cautious optimism. My efforts to evade my inner cynic are improving. Hoping for happiness is starting to overcome fear of failure or rejection.
I have a rather persistent smile on my face.
I think I'll try to enjoy that to the fullest for as long as I am allowed.
(To the select few of you that have an inkling as to what I am talking about, comment with discretion if you choose to do so.)
Enjoy the moment
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